Mmmmanwich.

'Kay. Another time of desperation. The ham from Christmas I was hoping to use and abuse for dinner (ham and eggs? Breakfast for dinner? Score!), disappeared. All gone. Poof! Instead, my temporary shelter distributor (thanks, Grandma!) had tossed a ziploc bag of about a pound of hamburger in the fridge for me to use and. Originally, my idea was hamburgers. Boring, drab hamburgers. Sigh, went the husband to be- Your hamburgers aren't really that awesome, anyway. Gasp! Subpar hamburgers?! Lies! What about spaghetti?, he suggested. Well, I didn't want spaghetti, and I'm way too lazy to sit there and boil pasta, and then cook hamburger. That's two pans, and twice as many dishes to do! Noooo thank you.

So, my grandmother in her infinite wisdom stated I think there's a can of manwich in the pantry... and hubby's eyes lit up. MANWICH!? I could hear him think in his head- I LOOOOVE MANWICH!  How can you not love something with the word 'man' in it!? I'm a man! (Yes, I'm pretty sure that's how it went). So, I marched off to find a can of manwich. Surprise, surprise, no manwich to be found. I came back, dejected, and announced the misfortune. My grandmother, being my magical mystical kitchen savior, stated Then just make some. You need Ketchup, onion, and a bit of brown sugar. 

And so I did. I marched right in that kitchen, no recipe in hand, dazed and confused from hunger, and made some gosh darn Manwich!

Better than gosh-darn Manwich!

Serves... 2? 3? Somewhere around there. 

-1 lb. hamburger

-1/4 of a small onion, thinly sliced, then destroyed by the nearest knife (little bitty bits)

-1/4 to 1/3 cup ketchup... somewhere around there. I just took the bottle and squirted some in there. Look for more Joe, less sloppy. 

- A good palmful of brown sugar. Maybe about 2 tablespoons? Around there.

*Optional - dash of worchestershire sauce. I think it'd be good in there. 

-Brown hamburger. Cook it, and beat it up with your spoon or spatula, or whatever you're cooking with. I like wooden spoons. They're cheap, they're easy to clean (sandpaper!), and you can use it to gauge cooking oil heat. Stick your spoon in the oil- if bubbles come up, it's ready! Okay, I'm sidetracking.... look for bitty pieces of hamburger. My husband didn't like how mine turned out a bit chunky, but I like big bits. So, find a happy medium. 

-Throw in your onions. Once your hamburger looks cooked, but not cooked enough to not be deadly, it's time to throw them in. You don't want them dead to the world, but over crunchy is just gonna make your sloppy joes have a weird texture.

-Drain your hamburger. I know, counter intuitive- seems like you should probably drain before adding onions, but I didn't. I took a wad of paper towels and pushed all the meat to one side, and tipping my pan to the empty side, soaking up all the grease. Threw it all away, and none of it messed up the drain.

-Add your gigantic squeeze of ketchup. Eyeball it. If it's not enough, you can always add more. Cooking shouldn't be rocket science- If I can figure out a good squeeze, you can too. 

-Add your brown sugar. Remember to stir. Brown sugar chunks is not delicious with ground beef. In fact, it's really weird.

At this point, your manwich is done. You've used stuff around your house (and I know you have ketchup and brown sugar around the house. If not, use some leftover ketchup packets... if there's no bottle of ketchup and some brown sugar, you're probably living off McDonald's anyway), and you're not poor because you've bought 8 zillion cans of manwich at $1.29 for a can of ketchup and onion bits. Serve it on whatever bread you have. 

My hubbers to be said it was "better than manwich", which is major praise from him (I know, I'm a total sucker for praise. Say I'm awesome and I'm sky high for a week). I know I'm going to be making this again.